


Braving The Storm

by Redsgae



Category: The Resident (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Conrad deserves better, Conrad has ptsd, Conrad just needs hugs and snuggles, Flashbacks, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Jonrad, M/M, My First AO3 Post, PTSD, literally just so much fluff, the most underrated ship ever, they in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 03:23:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20632280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redsgae/pseuds/Redsgae
Summary: Everyone has bad days, even the bravehearted, hardheaded, Dr. Conrad Hawkins has bad days. This just happened to be one of them, one of those days. Usually when the flashbacks happened he was alone but not this time. Jude and him were just going for drinks but thanks to the storm their night turned out a little... differently than expected.





	Braving The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Yo guys, I kinda forgot about this but I just edited it to the beta read and edited version and converted it to a one-shot because I officially do not think I'm going to be looping back around to it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! And feel free to comment what you think :) For Jonrad art and edits find me on insta (@redsgae). Without further ado, enjoy! ~Red

That night was dark and foggy. Thick clouds masked all the natural light in the gloomy night sky and only the dim flickering light of the old rusty street lamps lit their path to the nearest bar. Neither Conrad nor Jude wanted to be there per se, there was a huge storm scheduled to hit Atlanta that night, blowback from a tropical storm. They would both rather have been at Chastain helping to sift through the chaos. they both thrived in chaos or at the very least they were good enough at holding it together for it to appear so, but that wasn't going to be possible, not tonight anyway. Bell and Claire had practically kicked them to the streets after the little stunt they had pulled in the ER. If either of them was being honest they were damn lucky to even still have jobs at this point. They had both had pretty rough days so far even excluding the ER mishave. They both walked silently alongside each other, neither of them wanted to talk about their day, they both just wanted to forget about it and there was no better way they knew of to do that except to drink it away.

A boom of thunder trumpeted through the sky, causing Conrad to shiver and move just a tad closer to Jude. Jude noticed and couldn’t help but smirk a little but he decided not to say anything about it at that moment. 

They walked in that same comfortable silence all the way to the nearest bar, neither saying a word until they saw a familiar red sign on the door. Most of the shops and taverns had one. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jude sighed, ripping the delicately taped red paper right off the door and waving it in front of Conrad. “One little storm and everyone is losing their minds,” he scoffed, irritably throwing the paper on to the pavement. 

Conrad chuckled a little, “I don’t think it's that piece of paper’s fault that the bar is closed but what whatever makes you feel better.” 

“I don't know about you but I need a drink,” Jude groaned, ignoring Conrad.

Conrad nodded in agreement. “It has been a long ass day and I need a drink too.” Conrad had so much on his mind right now, including things that Jude didn't know about or anyone else for that matter and he intended to keep it that way. He had enough to deal with at work without everyone knowing about his “personal” issues but he really was under a lot of stress nowadays, especially with the sudden reappearance of Marshall on his mind. 

“Well, I suppose one of the bars in this town has got to be open right? There's only about a thousand,” Jude said as he bent over and picked the crumpled, wet, paper up off the ground.

“Yeah. Here’s hoping.” Conrad smiled a little as he watched Jude try and stick the paper back to the door. “I think that one is a bit of a lost cause,” he chuckled a little.

“You and me both,” Jude smiled, setting the paper in front of the door. “Man, those winds are so brutal they blew this sign right off the door,” he joked.

Conrad chuckled. “Yes, and ‘the winds’ guided the paper all the way to its peaceful resting spot directly in front of the door. Come on, let's get out of here.” 

With that, they began to walk again and they fell back into the same peaceful comfortable silence as before. It wasn't long after they had started walking to the next bar that rain started to gently cascade around them. The drops started small, gently pattering on the ground as they rained down, but it wasn’t long before that gentle pitter-pattering turned into a loud sledgehammering. Each drop came crashing to the ground, bouncing up just to soak them all over again, the wind whipped the rain so it felt like bullets against their bare skin. Neither of them had jackets or anything to protect them from the elements, they had planned on just riding their bikes like they usually did but they had made a last-second decision not to, one that they were both silently regretting now. All except for the pounding of raindrops against the pavement it was still silent between them.

Jude was the first to speak after a long period of silence between the two of them, they were both soaked, and Conrad was shivering a little. Even though he would never admit it, Jude worried about him, it was hard not to when he was so stubborn and almost seemed to enjoy burning it at both ends until he burnt out. “My apartment is only a couple blocks away, and it's closer than yours, I think there are a few old beers in the fridge. It’s better than nothing, and it’s definitely better than dying of a cold to find a beer,” he said a little jokingly even though he wasn’t really joking. 

Conrad nods. “That definitely sounds like a better alternative to me.”

Jude didn't say anything else, they both just switched directions and began to walk again. Conrad enjoyed spending time with Jude, he was the only one that he could trust not to ask stupid questions like, “are you okay?”. God, how he hated the question and with Jude, he never had to worry about it. Jude never bothered to ask questions that he already knew the answer to, especially with Conrad. No matter what he was going through if asked if he was alright Conrad would always rattle off the same answer as if he was programmed to do so. “I’m fine,” he would say. He could be having a mental breakdown while his life was in shambles but there was one thing you could always count on him to say, “I’m fine”. He was always “fine”. No one quite knew it yet but for the stoic closed off personality, they had no one other than Marshall to thank. 

They both walked in silence rain pelting against their skin as they walked to Jude’s apartment. The pounding sound of the rain hitting the pavement filled their ears but nothing else, neither of them said a word, the streets were completely empty, they seemed to be the only two dumb enough to be out in this weather. A streak of lightning lit up the dark, cloud blanketed sky, followed by a loud rumble of thunder. A look of confusion crossed Jude’s face for a moment, he felt his cheeks warm up as he looked down at his hand. Conrad, startled by the thunder, had reached and grabbed Jude’s hand, he hadn't even meant to it was just a reaction, he kept his eyes fixed on the ground, looking embarrassed but not letting go. Jude couldn’t help but smile a little feeling Conrad's hand in his, even though he was confused as to why it was there. He went to say something but was swiftly cut off.

“Shut up,” Conrad grumbled, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground and keeping his hand grasped tightly around Jude’s.

Jude smirked a little and squeezed his hand, staying quiet, he already figured that he knew what was going on, even the famous Dr. Hawkins was not immune to bad days but Jude didn't even know the half of it. 

They walked to Jude’s apartment in silence, hand in hand. By the time they got there they were completely drenched, Conrad was shivering a little but clearly trying to hide it. As soon as they walked through the door Conrad awkwardly let go of Jude’s hand seeming embarrassed. 

“Th-that never happened,” Conrad mumbled, eyes still fixed on the ground, cheeks highlighted by a flush layer of blush.

“Of course not...” Jude replied a little awkwardly, shoving his hand into the pocket of his soaked pants. All of a sudden something was new, different, a warmth that came from having Conrad's hand in his. He shouldn’t have called it new, if he was being honest with himself it wasn’t the first time he had felt it, he wished he could ignore it. People say that there is almost no bond stronger than the one that two soldiers can develop on the battlefield, and in this case, Jude was starting to see that may end up being a little more than true. What was he thinking? It could never work, it would never work. “I’m going to go change,” Jude said after a long period of the two of them just awkwardly standing there, partly because he had to change and partly because he wanted to be able to escape the awkwardness for even just a few minutes. He motioned to the fridge as he walked off towards his room, “You know where everything is, help yourself.”

Conrad nodded a little, not saying anything but going and getting a beer for each of them out of the fridge, being sure that Jude was gone before he did so. There was a moment of silence, he was alone. A roar of thunder boomed through the sky, it seemed loud enough that all of Atlanta could hear it, powerful enough to shake the very foundation of the building. Conrad could almost feel the ground under him shift, a small gasp escaped his lips. He felt his chest tighten. Involuntarily his hands opened, causing both the beer bottles he had been holding to go barreling to the ground, shattering at his feet. He put his hands up, crossing them across his chest as if he was trying to protect himself from an invisible threat but to him, it wasn’t invisible at all. It didn’t happen much anymore, and when it did he was lucky enough to have the so-called “advantage” of being alone, but sometimes a crashing, loud, unexpected noise was enough to send him right back to the barren desert wastelands of Afghanistan. Just sometimes it was enough to put his mind back onto the battlefield. He could practically feel the heat pounding down on him, the wind whipping sand into his face. He could see the blood, bodies, and bullet casings, so clearly that he felt as if he could reach out and touch them. He could hear the screams, people crying for his help and there was nothing he could do to help. He could feel the pain. Oh, the pain. Phantom pain shot up his leg, causing him to call out in pain and grab his bad knee. 

Jude heard the bottles shatter, being a little confused as to what may have been going on. He was quick to assume that Conrad had just clumsily dropped a bottle, not really like him but Jude had no reason to believe that it was anything else. “Things alright out there?” He called to Conrad from his room, not thinking much of it when he got no response. It wasn’t until he heard Conrad call out in pain that he got concerned, he quickly slipped into a dry shirt before grabbing the closest thing he could find as a weapon and running out into the kitchen. He thought that someone was in the house in the split instant that he had to think he thought that that was the only thing that could have been happening but when he reached the kitchen he stopped in his tracks. It was just Conrad, only him. Jude froze. For a second he just had no idea what to do, all of his training and expertise left him, for just that one second there was only one thing on his mind. There was Conrad, only Conrad, he was trembling on the floor now, one hand on his bad knee, his head buried in the other. To Jude it seemed almost surreal to him like this, this wasn’t the Conrad that he knew, the Conrad that served with him, the one that fought beside him. This wasn't his best friend. Jude couldn’t help but to just stand there for a second, trying to wrap his head around what was even happening but eventually the moment passed. He ran over to Conrad, taking a knee next to him, carefully avoiding the shattered glass left behind by the broken bottles. Even then, right next to him, he couldn’t figure out what was going on. He had never seen Conrad like this, never seen him so vulnerable.

“Hey, hey,” Jude said softly, just trying to get Conrad’s attention but right now it seemed like he was in a world of his own. Jude gently put a hand on Conrad’s trembling shoulder, which nearly earned him a narrowly avoided elbow to the face. He didn’t know what to do, he backed away for a second. He had to do something, anything. This was what he did for a living, not this exactly per se since he was a surgeon after all, but nevertheless he was supposed to be able to deal with situations like this and yet he was completely blanking. Conrad needed him and his mind was absolutely blank, except for the thought of Conrad, that Conrad needed him. He thought for a second about calling Nic for help but he knew that her and Conrad weren’t together anymore, not at the moment anyway, and if he didn't know about whatever this was then chances are that she didn’t either. He stood back and just stared for a second at trembling, panicking, Conrad with his head in his hand and it became very clear to him how to help. Without even thinking about it he grabbed Conrad and pulled him close. Conrad tried to push him away at first, more out of panic than anything else, in his mind he was back in the naked mountainous deserts of Afghanistan, alone but Jude didn’t let go.

“It’s Jude, it’s Jude. You’re alright. I’m right here,” he said softly, gently rubbing Conrad’s back in an attempt to help calm him down. 

Conrad continued to try and push him away, throwing fists and elbows, landing a few successful hits but Jude still didn’t let go. Not too long after Jude had pulled him gently into his arms, Conrad began to slowly calm down, he had stopped fighting him anyway. Jude gently picked him up, making sure he hadn’t gotten cut on the glass that still littered the floor and carrying him to the couch, something Conrad definitely would have objected to if he had been in a more lucid state. Right now it seemed like he just in his own world, not even aware of what was going on around him. 

Jude tried to gently set him down on the couch but Conrad tightly wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in Jude’s chest. His still drenched clothing, dampening Jude’s fresh, dry clothes but right now that was the last thing Jude was thinking about. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off Jude could practically feel his face turn fiery red as Conrad snuggled up to him. He smiled, embarrassed, but also knowing that Conrad probably didn’t even realize what he was even doing. Conrad needed him right now and he wasn’t going to let him down. He laid down on the couch, Conrad hugged tightly in his arms, trembling so violently that Jude was almost trembling along with him. 

Jude gently ran his fingers through Conrad’s hair. “It’s okay,” he whispered shushing him softly. “You’re not alone anymore.” He pulled Conrad closer so that his head was rested on his chest, he pulled down the blanket that was folded nicely on the back of the couch and draped it gently over Conrad, it wasn’t much but he was wet and cold so it was at least something. Just like that, they fell back into their same comfortable silence. Jude didn’t have to say anything else, didn’t have to ask questions that he already knew the answers too. All he could do right now was be there for Conrad. Now that the adrenaline had worn off and he had had a chance to start thinking clearly he knew exactly what was going on but somehow knowing made it all the more confusing. This couldn’t be PTSD, could it? How come Conrad had never told him? Did he not trust him? A thousand thoughts swarmed around like bees in Jude’s head, he tried not to think about it but this just didn’t add up to him, Conrad was his best friend. If he was struggling like this then why wouldn’t he want help? In the end, it all boiled to his stubborn closeted personality and Jude knew that but it just didn’t sit right for some reason. Jude had to admit, once the embarrassment passed, he could get used to this, not this situation exactly of course but having Conrad so close to him it felt strangely nice. It almost felt natural to him, he had fumbled at first but now, with Conrad snuggled in his chest, him running his fingers through Conrad’s damp, silky soft hair, this just felt… Right. 

Conrad slowly began to calm down, being snuggled up to Jude brought him a strange comfort, something he would never openly admit. The sound of Jude’s heartbeat filled his ears, drowning out the sound of the storm, dampening the screams for help, the blanket protecting him from the harsh Afghani sun. The vision was already fading, usually, the flashbacks lasted much longer and were much more devastating but this one was short, that was something that he couldn’t be grateful enough for. Unlike Jude, in that moment he wasn’t thinking about what this might mean, how this would be seen if other people were to find out. Right now, he stayed like that, snuggled against Jude’s chest, curled up in the blanket Jude had thrown over him, smiling softly as he felt Jude’s hands gently pulling at his hair as he ran his fingers through. He wasn’t even thinking about it but he knew, this was right. 

The two of them stayed like that until Conrad drifted off to the soft sound of Jude’s heartbeat, his arms wrapped tightly around Jude and Jude’s tightly around him. Conrad was drooling a little onto Jude’s, not so dry, dry shirt. Jude, completely over the awkwardness and embarrassment of things now, couldn’t help but smile down at him. It was almost saddening to him, this felt so right like it was melt to be, but he knew that it couldn’t be. Conrad had always been head over heels in love with Nic and it seemed like that would never change. This whole thing just seemed like a taunt, they were so close yet he could never be more to Conrad then Nic was. He was just going to have to enjoy this time while he had it, this was never going to happen again and he knew that Conrad would do everything he could to ensure that. The saddening truth was that he just couldn’t add up to Nic, that’s what he thought anyway. 

Conrad stayed asleep for hours, not moving from his position curled up, rather adorably, against Jude’s chest. Jude stayed awake, continuing to run his fingers through Conrad’s now dry and fluffy, frizzy hair, that is until Conrad woke up. 

Conrad seemed completely fine at first, it was early in the morning and he didn’t remember much of anything that had happened the previous night, unwrapping his arms from around Jude he rubbed his eyes. It wasn’t until he looked up and saw Jude that he even realized what had happened. He didn’t even remember a fragment of the night prior, the last thing he remembered was holding Jude’s hand as they walked home. He scrabbled frantically off of Jude, leaning against the opposite side on the couch, putting a hand over his mouth in an attempt to cover the blush that had covered his whole face. “De-dear God… H-how many beers did I have last night?” He said, sounding almost horrified, not even meaning to say it out loud. 

Jude smiled a little, seeing how embarrassed Conrad was. He sat up, “It’s okay. You didn’t have anything to drink at all last night and neither did I. There was a little… mishap but it’s alright... It never happened right?” He said reassuringly. 

It suddenly hit him, Conrad remembered exactly what had happened the night before. The details were a bit fuzzy, they always were, but there was one thing that he could vividly remember, Jude. He remembered how Jude had helped him, how nice it felt to have someone there when he was having a flashback, how nice it felt to have Jude there. His face somehow managed to get even redder after that realization. “Right…” He said, slowly nodding, “never happened.” 

Jude nodded in agreement, sighing softly to himself, just like that it was over, the only chance he would ever get and he blew it. He thought anyway. Until, after a long period of absolute silence between them, Conrad, red-faced and shaky, leaned in sheepishly and wrapped his arms back around Jude, “An-and this never happened either.” 

Jude now felt his face being invaded by a layer of blush but he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Conrad, pulling him close, laying back down and pulling Conrad back down on top of him. “Of course not,” he chuckled blissfully. 

Conrad pulled the blanket back over himself, snuggling, adorably, into the blanket. “You better not tell anyone about this.” He grumbled with a slight smile, snuggling up to Jude’s chest, already beginning to drift back to sleep.

There was an unspoken truth among them, something they both knew was true but neither would ever admit. This was right.


End file.
